Four

Got another rejection letter... Suprise suprise! Another meeting with the recruiter comming up soon... Nervous as hell! So here I am, sitting watching the storm on the rocks. Anyway, heres # Four.

The beginning was very different for Alexis and Chase. Alexis figured it out quickly. She was always a curious child and she enjoyed testing the limits. Chase was more timid and tried to ignore it. While Chase tried to convince himself he was dreaming, Alexis was trying to turn her dream into a reality.

The second time it happened to Alexis, she knew what caused it. It was the day of Jane’s funeral. They left the house early in the morning. Alexis’ mother bought her a new black dress; it was simple, with a little lace ruffle along the hem and neckline, a wide black satin ribbon around the waist. To Alexis the fabric felt like straw, it was coarse and scratched her skin. The bodice was too tight and the lace collar was too high on her neck. She felt trapped and uncomfortable. As they sat in the church Alexis pulled the ribbon from behind her back, rolling and unrolling it in her fingers. The church pews were solid wood, dark cherry finish and coated with varnish so they reflected the flickering candlelight. No matter how Alexis sat she felt as if the seat dug into her. The seat was too hard, and the armrest dug into her small shoulder, the back arched in all the wrong places and gave her a pinch in her back. She looked around at all the faces; the church was full of faces, blank, sombre and sobbing. Swollen eyes and red noses glared at Alexis from every angle, though she knew none of them were looking at her. Alexis felt that nobody could feel the same loss that she did. Nobody knew how much she hurt, nobody could hope to understand. She wanted to scream, she wanted to run. She felt nausea rising in her throat.

Nearly everyone had gone when Alexis timidly stepped toward the casket. She stood for a long time with her eyes tightly closed, her fists clenched. Then finally she reached forward and put her hands on the edge of the casket. Slowly she opened her eyes. She felt her heart racing as she looked down. There was Jane, as perfect as ever. Her dark brown curls lay about her on the white satin pillow. Her eyes were closed but a look of peace on her face. Her soft, white hands lay on her stomach, fingers laced together. She wore a simple pink dress. For a moment Alexis thought it hadn’t happened. That it had all been a dream, and Jane would sit up and start laughing her sweet tinkling laugh. But when Alexis reached out and touched her, she found her hands cold as ice. At that moment Alexis could stay no longer. She turned and ran. She felt her heart pounding in her ears her stomach tight with fear and as she ran down the centre row of the church she felt her world begin to spin. She tripped and felt herself suspended for a moment.

When she fell to the ground she didn’t move for a long while. She lay still, her eyes tightly closed, she felt the floor, cold on her flushed cheek. As silence rang out around her she slowly opened her eyes. Darkness enveloped her, but she recognized her surroundings immediately. The stereo clock flashed 12:00, the pale wood floors seemed to glitter, and Alexis saw her shadowy reflection in the wall-sized mirror. She slowly pulled herself up, knelt in front of the mirror and sat still for a long time. She folded her hands in her lap and stared into the mirror as if it would give her some answer. She watched as tears slipped down her cheeks in silence.

Alexis didn’t know how long she sat there, silently sobbing. But as the hours stretched on she felt the familiar peace that filled her whenever she was in the studio. Slowly she stood, and walked toward the barre. She ran her fingers along the polished wood, but she didn’t want to dance. She simply stood, and looked around the room. In this moment she began to understand.

I know its not really complete but Im working on it....

I think I hate typing the name Alexis... I think I might be renaming her, can I do that? maybe Ill give her a nickname...I havent been able to write lately...more than just a paragraph anyway, I have loads of little paragraphs that are completely disjointed and dont fit in anywhere. So as much as Im not really happy with this... :P Anyway yes I know my grammar sucks, but other than that let me know what you think!