How silly are your superstitions?
2.9.62.1,488.89,280.5,356,800
28.7.08
23.7.08
Hot Summer Nights
My job keeps me run off my feet... I swear...
This is not really connected to anything, its just a bit of wasted time...still what do you think??
In the first moment she felt the fear rip through her soul. She had chosen her point, her anonymous point, and stared deep into it. She made no eye contact as she pulled in a long breath. Still, somewhere deep within her something grabbed hold of her heart, dragged it down to her stomach and knotted them together. The lights snapped on with a violent ‘POP’. Her mouth was suddenly dry, as she felt the heat of the lights on her cheeks. Soft beads of sweat rose on her forehead, her face reddened, her hands began to shake.
She heard him draw his breath. Every other sound had vanished, her focus, trained on him, his hands, every movement he made. It seemed an eternity that he sat there, still, silent, unmovable. Finally, she turned her eyes to meet his. A hint of a mischievous smile played on his lips. Her throat closed, tight. Silently, she begged, what was he waiting for? Deliberately, he laced his fingers together and reached forward, a long stretch, snapping his fingers. He never took his eyes off of her, testing her, teasing her.
He toyed with her, even as he finally began to play. Taking his time, changing the tempo, he forced her to slow down. She tried to pace herself. Her heart raced forward but she forced herself to stay even, to match his slow, sensual movements. She looked deep into his eyes, once more, before she gave in, turned her eyes forward and tried, once again, to find her anonymous spot. The lights made her eyes water but still, she stared straight into them.
Now he began in earnest. She reached forward, no longer trusting herself to stand. She grabbed hold, tightly at first, as she felt the cool metal in her shaking palms she forced herself to relax, to keep an air of calm about her. Slowly she slipped her hands up, and pulled the microphone towards herself.
The heat, her sweat, her anxiety, melted away the moment she began to sing. The lights seemed to dim, her eyes no longer ached, and she began to be able to see into the audience. She could nearly make out their faces. The high-powered crowd, she knew them well. All of them stressed to the limit with work that they thought was earth shattering. Even here, in their darkened bar, they were still performing, pretending to be something they weren’t, to impress each other. Women, men, lovers, friends, it didn’t matter, they all had to prove themselves to each other. A constant struggle for power.
She started to hear it all now, detached, as if she was in the audience with them, watching herself perform. As he played on, his fingers found the deepest parts of her soul, and she let the music flow through her. Note by note, she became more caught up in the music, more at ease in her place on stage. She felt more alive by the moment and now, she let her passion flow into the microphone then, out over the crowd. Her smouldering voice now melding with his slow gentle play. She caught his dark eyes as she took a breath, and together they plunged into another verse.
The audience had vanished by now; the stage seemed to be melting away into nothing, leaving the two of them alone lost in the music. She felt it, pulsing deep in her chest, the urgency beginning to build; she pulled the mic towards herself. She allowed the music to move her body now, and suddenly the audience returned. She could see the, clearly, each body, each face, each pair of eyes as they watched her every move. She had brought them with her. She had gone, away from the bar, away from the flickering lights, and the smells and the smoky air. Away from reality, to a place where she could be free, from all of the stresses and tensions of her world, and her reality had melted away. Now as she looked into the audiences’ eyes, she could see in their souls, that she had dragged them with her. That they were as lost in the music as she was. They would let her take them anywhere.
From nowhere, it seemed, he began to pull away. She followed him, and slowly, he brought them back. With his last note they pulled together, and released their grip on the audience.
She felt numb, as if she was almost waking from a dream. The silence overwhelmed her and her ears rang. Suddenly she was struggling to see through the glare of the spotlight, her eyes began to tear up. The smoke filled her lungs and she struggled to suppress a cough. She became aware now, of her dress, the way that it clung to the shimmer of sweat down her spine. Her necklace felt like lead pressed hard against her chest. She slowly licked her lips, tasting her deep red lipstick. The smell of stale beer, mixed with tobacco and sweat confronted her and she was no longer sure if she had even started to perform yet.
They were on their feet now.
Her head was pulsing now.
She bowed slightly.
Or did she?
She reached a graceful hand out for him.
He grounded her suddenly, as his strong, cool hand gripped hers. He pulled her arm up then back down with him. Together they bowed. The sound of their applause reached her now, finally.
The lights went out, as inevitably they always do.
This is not really connected to anything, its just a bit of wasted time...still what do you think??
In the first moment she felt the fear rip through her soul. She had chosen her point, her anonymous point, and stared deep into it. She made no eye contact as she pulled in a long breath. Still, somewhere deep within her something grabbed hold of her heart, dragged it down to her stomach and knotted them together. The lights snapped on with a violent ‘POP’. Her mouth was suddenly dry, as she felt the heat of the lights on her cheeks. Soft beads of sweat rose on her forehead, her face reddened, her hands began to shake.
She heard him draw his breath. Every other sound had vanished, her focus, trained on him, his hands, every movement he made. It seemed an eternity that he sat there, still, silent, unmovable. Finally, she turned her eyes to meet his. A hint of a mischievous smile played on his lips. Her throat closed, tight. Silently, she begged, what was he waiting for? Deliberately, he laced his fingers together and reached forward, a long stretch, snapping his fingers. He never took his eyes off of her, testing her, teasing her.
He toyed with her, even as he finally began to play. Taking his time, changing the tempo, he forced her to slow down. She tried to pace herself. Her heart raced forward but she forced herself to stay even, to match his slow, sensual movements. She looked deep into his eyes, once more, before she gave in, turned her eyes forward and tried, once again, to find her anonymous spot. The lights made her eyes water but still, she stared straight into them.
Now he began in earnest. She reached forward, no longer trusting herself to stand. She grabbed hold, tightly at first, as she felt the cool metal in her shaking palms she forced herself to relax, to keep an air of calm about her. Slowly she slipped her hands up, and pulled the microphone towards herself.
The heat, her sweat, her anxiety, melted away the moment she began to sing. The lights seemed to dim, her eyes no longer ached, and she began to be able to see into the audience. She could nearly make out their faces. The high-powered crowd, she knew them well. All of them stressed to the limit with work that they thought was earth shattering. Even here, in their darkened bar, they were still performing, pretending to be something they weren’t, to impress each other. Women, men, lovers, friends, it didn’t matter, they all had to prove themselves to each other. A constant struggle for power.
She started to hear it all now, detached, as if she was in the audience with them, watching herself perform. As he played on, his fingers found the deepest parts of her soul, and she let the music flow through her. Note by note, she became more caught up in the music, more at ease in her place on stage. She felt more alive by the moment and now, she let her passion flow into the microphone then, out over the crowd. Her smouldering voice now melding with his slow gentle play. She caught his dark eyes as she took a breath, and together they plunged into another verse.
The audience had vanished by now; the stage seemed to be melting away into nothing, leaving the two of them alone lost in the music. She felt it, pulsing deep in her chest, the urgency beginning to build; she pulled the mic towards herself. She allowed the music to move her body now, and suddenly the audience returned. She could see the, clearly, each body, each face, each pair of eyes as they watched her every move. She had brought them with her. She had gone, away from the bar, away from the flickering lights, and the smells and the smoky air. Away from reality, to a place where she could be free, from all of the stresses and tensions of her world, and her reality had melted away. Now as she looked into the audiences’ eyes, she could see in their souls, that she had dragged them with her. That they were as lost in the music as she was. They would let her take them anywhere.
From nowhere, it seemed, he began to pull away. She followed him, and slowly, he brought them back. With his last note they pulled together, and released their grip on the audience.
She felt numb, as if she was almost waking from a dream. The silence overwhelmed her and her ears rang. Suddenly she was struggling to see through the glare of the spotlight, her eyes began to tear up. The smoke filled her lungs and she struggled to suppress a cough. She became aware now, of her dress, the way that it clung to the shimmer of sweat down her spine. Her necklace felt like lead pressed hard against her chest. She slowly licked her lips, tasting her deep red lipstick. The smell of stale beer, mixed with tobacco and sweat confronted her and she was no longer sure if she had even started to perform yet.
They were on their feet now.
Her head was pulsing now.
She bowed slightly.
Or did she?
She reached a graceful hand out for him.
He grounded her suddenly, as his strong, cool hand gripped hers. He pulled her arm up then back down with him. Together they bowed. The sound of their applause reached her now, finally.
The lights went out, as inevitably they always do.
18.7.08
hypothetically...
You are sitting on an over-crowded city bus. Every seat is full and there are easily a dozen people or more standing in the aisle. Three young guys, dressed in their 'gangsta' best, get on to the bus, talking loudly and obnoxiously, bragging about 'Kicking that guy's ass'. About five minutes into the ride the guys begin to harass one of the other people on the bus.
What they do doesnt really matter, who they're harassing doesnt matter, it could be an old woman or a nerdy looking boy. What matters is that you can clearly see the person they are harassing is agitated, hurt and close to tears. This person is obviously trying to pretend nothing is wrong.
Remember you are on a very crowded bus. You are NOT the only person watching this.
What do you do?
hypothetically...Of course.
What they do doesnt really matter, who they're harassing doesnt matter, it could be an old woman or a nerdy looking boy. What matters is that you can clearly see the person they are harassing is agitated, hurt and close to tears. This person is obviously trying to pretend nothing is wrong.
Remember you are on a very crowded bus. You are NOT the only person watching this.
What do you do?
hypothetically...Of course.
You are nobody, until somebody loves you...
well,
No more retail...
No more custies. No more "can I get your number?" No more cash. No more debit. No more drunks, hobos, arrogant jerks, pervs...
No more "I need a wine. Not sure what its called, its either red or white, there was this writing all over the label... it was definatly a screw cap, or a cork. I dont know how much I paid for it..."
My last night at the LQ was actually a blast... MP, C and M made me feel really special. They brought me flowers and cards and we finished WAY too much champagne. When I stumbled out of there for the last time, I felt like I would actually be missed...
As much as my new job is only filing and copying... Im actually really enjoying it. Its great to be able to do something constructive at work and then know that when I come back five minutes later it will still be there! And they seem to like me... I hope...Anyway its a job. Its not hard, its not stressful, its not very stimulating, but the pay is worth it.
Now that I only work till 430 EVERY DAY, Ive been able to start actually having a life! I can get into the gym and be done everything by 6pm every night. With my extra income I will be able to start taking dance lessons again! *I think THAT is what Im most excited about* Im not sure, but hopefully Ill even be able to start auditioning again, I will be off all weekend while shows run, and in the evenings for rehersals...
Its lonely though... I cant really chat with any of the girls at work... and thats was about the only people I talk to outside family... at the LQ it was enough cause I had cool people I worked with and the customers coming in and out, mostly bad, but a conversation is a conversation.
The 'rents took off for Malaysia today, Im so jealous. And it looks like T will be going to Alaska in the next few days. J got home from China a few weeks ago (and brought me a stunning necklace). Auntie B and her family just got home from South Africa. Everyone gets to see the world. My day will come...
I guess its been a weird little while... it seems I only ever post anything when things are weird...
It would be great to see you! Its ok though... I know.
No more retail...
No more custies. No more "can I get your number?" No more cash. No more debit. No more drunks, hobos, arrogant jerks, pervs...
No more "I need a wine. Not sure what its called, its either red or white, there was this writing all over the label... it was definatly a screw cap, or a cork. I dont know how much I paid for it..."
My last night at the LQ was actually a blast... MP, C and M made me feel really special. They brought me flowers and cards and we finished WAY too much champagne. When I stumbled out of there for the last time, I felt like I would actually be missed...
As much as my new job is only filing and copying... Im actually really enjoying it. Its great to be able to do something constructive at work and then know that when I come back five minutes later it will still be there! And they seem to like me... I hope...Anyway its a job. Its not hard, its not stressful, its not very stimulating, but the pay is worth it.
Now that I only work till 430 EVERY DAY, Ive been able to start actually having a life! I can get into the gym and be done everything by 6pm every night. With my extra income I will be able to start taking dance lessons again! *I think THAT is what Im most excited about* Im not sure, but hopefully Ill even be able to start auditioning again, I will be off all weekend while shows run, and in the evenings for rehersals...
Its lonely though... I cant really chat with any of the girls at work... and thats was about the only people I talk to outside family... at the LQ it was enough cause I had cool people I worked with and the customers coming in and out, mostly bad, but a conversation is a conversation.
The 'rents took off for Malaysia today, Im so jealous. And it looks like T will be going to Alaska in the next few days. J got home from China a few weeks ago (and brought me a stunning necklace). Auntie B and her family just got home from South Africa. Everyone gets to see the world. My day will come...
I guess its been a weird little while... it seems I only ever post anything when things are weird...
It would be great to see you! Its ok though... I know.
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